Law's Adventure on the Thousand Sunny
by LuffyForKing
Summary: Law's thoughts on the crew's antics. Rated T for some swearing. One-shot.


**Warning: **May contain slight spoilers on the Punk Hazard arc & Dressrosa arc, but not big ones.

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**Law's Adventure on the Thousand Sunny**

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_I have no idea what I am getting myself in to._ This sentence repeatedly bores through Trafalgar Law's mind as he travels towards Dressrosa with the Straw Hat Crew. In a matter of two days Law witnessed a number of things that caused his jaw to drop in horror. He has had the majority of his meals stolen (by a certain rubber man), has had toothpicks forcibly shoved in to his nostrils by an excited captain and little reindeer, and has been punched across the head by the terrifying red-head navigator for an argument he did not even participate in (he comes to learn that anyone within the vicinity of an angry navigator will be punished as well).

To make the matters worse, the other new additions to the Sunny seem to be adjusting just fine. Momonosuke has become the terrifying navigator and the archaeologist's pet while his father floods the ship deck with blood along with the perverted cook and the talking corpse. Even Ceasar seems to be enjoying himself more than Law and _he is a hostage _(he won't let anyone forget that fact either)_. _

Exhaustion takes over the Surgeon of Death and the need for sleep becomes prominent. His attempt at this activity failed the night before due to the moss head guy and the perv cook guy arguing _in their sleep_. But, try as our young supernova might, a place of quiet is a rarity on this ship. According to the archaeologist, "If this ship is perfectly quiet, that means a sea king must have eaten the hearts out of everyone on board and left nothing but bloody corpses."

_I mean, how does that moss swordsman just fall asleep everywhere? _Law grumbles inwardly, watching the swordsman snoring against the mast of the ship.

"Ah, Tra-guy!" a familiar voice shouts, causing Law's body to freeze. An exuberant Luffy comes trotting up, long-nose boy and reindeer in tow.

"Could you use that power thing of yours and make me a centaur again?" Luffy asks in a tone that shows Law that the kid is being serious, "you can give me Usopp's legs!"

"Oi! Whaaaaaaaat!" the sharpshooter retorts, his hands flailing in the air, "you can not have my legs! Just take Kin'emon's again!"

At this, the Samurai's face turns gray. Law can see it from across the deck. The daring look of the warrior, just threatening him to try separating his body parts again. A look that says, "don't you fucking dare." Law decides to listen to the man's silent advice.

"How about the reindeer's legs?" Law taunts, amused at the little doctor's horrified expression.

"That works, too!" Luffy smiles, looking down at Chopper with a mischievous grin, "I could be a man-animal like Brownbeard!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" the doctor screams, sprinting away and toppling over the sleeping swordsman.

"Huh? Wuh?" the swordsman gripes, opening his eyes slightly, "oh, Chopper." (completely unfazed) And then he falls asleep _again_. (This is made apparent by his loud snoring).

"Come back here, Chopper!" the Straw Hat captain shouts, chasing the screaming reindeer around the deck.

…

The twelve of them (Kin'emon and Momonosuke included) all sit at the dinner table together. The food itself is great, but for a brief second before indulging, Law wonders if any blood from the cook's seemingly endless bloody nose has found it's way in to the food. Regardless, he allows himself to enjoy.

Not even two minutes in to the meal (Law makes sure to count this time) and the puny, Straw Hat captain is finished with his food and screaming, "Sanji! I'm hungry!" which, in turn, results in the perv cook kicking him in the head and telling him that he just ate. This event leads to the moss swordsman grunting, "stingy" and then an all-out-war breaking loose between him and the cook (swearing included).

Before long, the argument is broken up by the (terrifying) red-head navigator smashing the two on the head (she looks like the devil when angry.) Needless to say, that woman will be put in a different group than Law once he formulates a plan for Dressrosa (not that Law is expecting this group to listen).

Like usual, Cesar screams curses from outdoors. "If you don't feed me, I'll die, and then I'll be useless. (Blah blah blah.)" He is promptly shut up by the cook (now recovered from Nami-swan's tongue-lashing) _kicking_ a loaf of bread at him. It's actually quite comical, but Law stifles a laugh, remembering that these people are crazy and that he will not allow them to infect him as well. (I mean just look at Momonosuke and Kin'emon! They're on the table along with the reindeer and captain with toothpicks in their noses.) Law notes that he will _never_ be seen in such a state. Never.

His thoughts are, unsurprisingly, interrupted by the young captain screaming, "Tra-guy! You try, too!"

"It'll be SUPER," the cyborg guy screams, his hair in extremely unflattering blue pigtails (and he's supposed to be one of the older crewmates).

Apparently, Law must have a horrified expression on his face, because the archaeologist comes to his aid, "Luffy, I think that he would rather watch, right?" She smiles at Law, who, in turn, nods violently.

"Awww you're no fun!" the captain pouts, his hand reaching out and snatching food off of the corpse's plate.

"AH!" the skeleton screams, "I am always taking my eyes off of my plate! Although I don't…."

_Have any eyes_, Law's mind says along with the skeleton. (He has heard this joke approximately 13 times today.)

The meal ends when the navigator announces that she will be bathing along with Momonosuke. This triggers a nosebleed in the perverted-man-section (consisting of Sanji, Brook, and Kin'emon) followed by grumbles and pouts. Momonosuke seems rather pleased with himself, pressing his head in to the navigator's chest. The simple idea of being that close to that woman internally scares Law. Besides, he is more interested in women who keep their clothing on. (The mystery, ya know?)

Of course, these events end in the swordsman making another comment, with the cook attempting to maim him in response.

…

As the sun sets on the horizon, the crew settles in for the night, the raven-haired woman on watch duty. The men of the ship fall asleep surprisingly fast. Law, unable to sleep over the cook and moss' sleep-fighting (they even fight in their sleep) lies awake in bed, wondering how the other men can fall asleep with all of that ruckus. I mean, sure, there are some pretty loud snorers in his own crew, but none of them get in to deathly battles in their sleep. I mean, the green-haired guy actually drew his sword for this one. If potentially being stabbed in his sleep isn't slightly terrifying, Law does not know what is. He silently wishes that Bepo were around so that he could use him as a pillow (he is rather fluffy). For a moment he considers kidnapping the reindeer and using him as a pillow (hey, he likes fluffy things), but seeing as how the young doctor will not go within five feet of him in fear of his legs being attached to Luffy, the idea seems futile.

Speaking of Luffy, the young captain manages to crawl out of his hammock and stumble up the ladder towards (what Law is assuming the kitchen) while asleep. _They really were not lying when they said that he eats in his sleep_. His thoughts are abruptly disturbed by the sound of a trap going off upstairs, and the captain screaming in pain. This causes the perv cook to open his eyes just as the swordsman's katana is pointed at his face. Perv cook is not happy. Moss head receives a swift kick to the jugular and a "What the fuck, you dumbass marimo!" which causes (yet another) world war to break out between the two.

"Love cook!"

"Idiot swordsman!"

"Nosebleed bakaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

The entire situation is so barbaric and ridiculous that the Heart Pirate finds himself laughing aloud. And not just silent snickers, but full on, from the pit of the stomach, laughter. To make matters awkward, he does not realize how loud he is being until the marimo and the love-cook stop their battle to watch him, astonished looks upon both of their faces.

Law can feel the blood rushing to his cheeks at his uncharacteristic display of amusement, and pulls his hat over his eyes in attempt to dismiss the awkwardness. His attempts are in vain when both the swordsman and cook burst in to laughter as well.

"Is this a party?" Luffy screams, jumping down to join the group, a noticeable bump on his head from the refrigerator trap.

"Oi! Luffy!" the cook interrupts, a twitch appearing above his curly eyebrow, "I told you to stop stealing food. You ate only a few hours ago you idiot."

"But Sanjiiiiiiiii," the black-haired boy moans, grabbing his stomach, "I'm hungryyyyyy." The captain receives a swift kick to the head and a "Go to sleep dumbass," before the cook erupts in to another argument with the swordsman.

Law watches in stifled amusement as the rest of the men wake up, starting when the love-cook accidentally kicks Kin'emon, who wakes up screaming, sword drawn. This triggers long-nose and reindeer's sense of impending doom, as they scream, "WHAT'S GOING ON? IS EVERYTHING OKAY?"

"I'M GONNA DIE IF YOU DON'T LET ME SLEEP AND THEN I'LL BE A USELESS HOSTAGE!" Caesar screams from outside.

The skeleton laughs wildly (YOHOHOHOHOO) and the cyborg (whose hair is still in very awkward-looking ponytails) starts to dance (for who-the-hell-knows-why). The scene is so bizarre and yet, it does not surprise Law at all as he watches Luffy cross his arms and laugh, completely enjoying the situation.

_This crew is completely unbelievable_, Law thinks as an involuntary smirk dances its way across his lips. The scene ends with a very angry (and still horrifying) navigator smacking each man on the head, Law included (this causes his smirk to quickly morph in to a frown).

Not even five minutes later and the crew is asleep again, Luffy mumbling "meaaaaaat," as if nothing happened. Law's smirk returns as he pulls the brim of his hat over his eyes, allowing himself to sleep.

_I have no idea what I am getting myself in to_.

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**Author's Note**:/ Hey everyone, thanks for reading! I'd love to know your thoughts/ comments on the story (: I've been a big fan of Law lately, so I'd love to know your opinions on my portrayal of him!


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